invites you to
The Deer Hunt1:00 a.m. Alarm clock rings. 2:00 a.m. Hunting partner arrives and drags you out of bed. 2:30 a.m. Throw everything but the kitchen sink in pickup. 3:10 a.m. Leave for the deep woods. 3:15 a.m. Drive back home & get gun. 3:30 a.m. Drive like heck to get to the woods before daylight. 4:00 a.m. Set up camp - forget tent. 4:30 a.m. head into woods. 6:05 a.m. See eight deer. 6:06 a.m. Take careful aim and sqeeze trigger. 6:07 a.m. "click." 6:08 a.m. Load gun and curse while watching deer go over hill. 8:00 a.m. Head back towards camp. 9:00 a.m. Still looking for camp. Noon Fire gun for help - eat wild berries. 12:15 p.m. Ran out of bullets - eight deer came back. 12:20 p.m. Strange feeling in stomach. 12:45 p.m. Rescued. 12:55 p.m. Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped. 3:00 p.m. Arrive back at camp. 3:30 p.m. Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 p.m. Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 p.m. Load gun - leave camp again. 5:00 p.m. Empty gun on squirrel that's been bugging you for past 20 min. 6:00 p.m. Arrive at camp - deer grazing at camp 6:01 p.m. Load gun. 6:02 p.m. Fire gun 6:03p.m. One dead pickup 6:05 p.m. Hunting partner returns to camp dragging 8 piont Buck 6:06 p.m. Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner. 6:07 p.m. Fall into fire. 6:10 p.m. Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire. 6:15 p.m. Take pickup, leave partner and his deer in woods. 6:25 p.m. Truck boils over - hole shot in block. 6:25 p.m. Start walking. 6:30 p.m. Stumble, fall, drop gun in mud 6:35 p.m. Meet BIG bear. 6:36 p.m. Take aim. 6:37 p.m. Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:39 p.m. MESS PANTS!!!!! 9:00 p.m. Bear leaves - wrap your gun around tree. Midnight Home at last. Sunday Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces, place in envelope & mail to game warden with very close instructions on where to stick it.
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